Tag Archives: vampires

Grumpy Dwarf

After spending countless hours of hard work to bring to you all the REAL truth about vampires, apparently the truth isn’t good enough for some people.

There is an old saying:

You can please some of the people some of time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

Truer words have not been spoken.

Recently I received an email from a rather disgruntled reader, who had more than just a couple of ‘bones’ to pick with “Vampires Revealed“. I will try to deal with these point-by-point.

The way vampire origins are explained is unique, but perhaps a bit silly; a meteorite that mutates people’s DNA immediately with its ‘lifeforce’, but then remains ‘latent’ for 2000 years to finally create ‘vampires’ is a little far fetched.

Okay, fair enough – to anyone it may appear “silly” or “far fetched”. To be honest, it seems quite silly to me. Yet it is the truth. It is the origin our scientists discovered. Come on, humans evolved from apes? That to me seems silly, yet there is scientific evidence to back it up. So too there is scientific evidence to ratify vampire origins.

The book states: “All vampires have incredibly pale skin, …because our bodies produce little to no melanin.” This is akin to albinism. Are we expected to beleive that these ‘vampires’ are essentially albinos and that they can blend so easily into society, and don’t suffer some of the physical ailments that real albinos sometimes face?

I’m going to answer this with a direct quote from Vampires Revealed, Chapter 3 – Vampire Anatomy:

Obviously vampires are very different, which is evident not only in how we look but also how we behave. For those of you reading this who are not medical doctors, which I imagine is most of you, I’m going to keep this simple and stick to the main or most critical differences to facilitate your understanding. The following is by no means comprehensive or exhaustive, that’s an entirely different book.

Did you spot the key words there?  Are you a human doctor? Do you understand completely the intricacies of how the human body works? Well I’m not a vampire doctor!

The narrator also states that vampires use more of their brain than humans. The old saying that people only use 10% of their brain is a myth.

Finally we see a glimpse of intelligence from our complainant. It is indeed a myth humans only use 10% of their brain. In fact they use 100%. However, the majority of human brain function is subconscious. I seriously wonder if our disgruntled reader actually read Chapter 7 in its entirety.

“Vampires possess approximately ten times the sensory receptors to that of an average dog.” I assume the author means olfactory (scent) receptors as the narrator goes on to talk about the vampire’s sense of smell. It is said dogs can smell 1000 times better than humans, so what would that make vampires? And the book also states that vampires could probably “hear a pin drop in the same room.” How could any creature survive in such a noisy and scent filled world with such high sensory abilities?

I concede it is understable to be a little incredulous regarding vampires senses and that we don’t go mad from the bombardment the world provides. However a couple of things to consider…Have you ever lived near train tracks, airport or some other noise producing venue? Eventually you become accustomed to the sounds and it all fades into the background like “white noise”. This is pretty much how it is for vampires dealing with all the sounds around them. We tend to focus on the important stuff and the rest simply fades into the background. Not so amazing when you think about it. It’s exactly what most humans do.

As for our sense of smell, well, how do I explain this so you can understand. Ever caught a whiff of something and not been entirely sure what it was or where it was coming from? Then upon investigation and a bit of ‘sniffing’ around you discover the cat has left a ‘present’ behind the couch?  This is sort of how it is like for vampires. Our sense of smell is extremely acute, but to pick out individual scents or smells we have to focus completely on the ‘one’ we are looking for.

I think Miss Grumpy should take her own advice an apply some common sense and logic before totally disregarding the information she was provided.

She goes on to dissect how vampires are made:

The book states that the human must first be relieved of so much blood that they come so close to death that even a doctor might pronounce them dead and that they must be left this way for three days. There is NO WAY a human could survive for three days in this condition if simply left that way.

Perhaps in this instance I am guilty of not sharing entirely everything with my dear readers. And perhaps I am not quite as mindful of modern medicine as I should be.

Sometimes I forget how advanced human medicine and diagnostic procedures have come. It is entirely possible with the technology and equipment now available to the medical profession they wouldn’t make the error of thinking a human dead under the circumstances of creating a Haeyled. For this oversight I apologise to you, my dear readers.

A detail I omitted which maybe would help Miss Grumpy understand this process better is this… While it is ideal for the human to remain almost completely drained while a vampire metabolises their blood, sometimes it is necessary to give them mini-doses of vampire blood. This keeps them going just enough to avoid death. Even doing this does not ensure a successful metamorphisis. I hope this clarifies the process of creating a Haeyled.

As for our complainant, I’m of the opinion she has little respect for vampires. Indeed I think she does not belive we exist at all, hence her inability to understand or accept the truth of our existence.