Got a few things to get through today, but I’ll start with the most important. (Important to me anyway)
Desires Revealed Update
After several weeks of nail-biting anxiety, my editor has returned my manuscript for Desires Revealed. There is much work to be done before it will be ready for publication, but not as much as I had anticipated.
I’ve already started on the necessary changes and additions. So now it is only a matter of time before I will be able to announce its release. As always I will keep you informed of the current status.
Wannabe Vampires
This past week I received an email asking me (once again) about being turned into a vampire, but this time the wannabe vampire wanted to know more about what abilities they would have once changed.
I truly understand the human fascination with vampires, because I am just as fascinate by humans, but … There is much more to being a vampire other than the fact we are stronger and faster than humans. When I receive emails such as I did this week, I can’t help but wonder if I completely wasted my time writing Vampires Revealed. Why did I go to such lengths to explain vampires to you if the majority of humans are going to totally disregard the information within.
Anyway, to anyone considering they may want to be a vampire I say this… give serious and lengthy thought to what it is you are giving up: being human. You may have a limited life span but it can be one heck of ride if you give it half a chance.
When Humans Don’t Know How To Be Human
Regular readers will be familiar with my assistant Rachel. Recently she met a man and so far so good. They have a lot in common but enough differences to keep things interesting.
Rachel spends far too much time alone, and I was very pleased when she told me she was seeing someone. For awhile I thought I could sense some ambivalence in her emotions; but you know, we vampires aren’t so great at interpreting human feelings. I didn’t want to question Rachel in case I was making trouble where there was none.
Over the past week (it has been non-stop action at Bektamun Central) this sense of ambivalence has been increasing. Finally I could no longer put off sitting Rachel down and having a good talk. I was right, there was something bothering her.
Emotions - humans are full of them. It's a wonder they can function half the time.
The problem it seems is that Mr X is completely incapable of displaying, sharing or even acknowledging emotion. At first I thought she must have unwittingly begun dating a vampire.
As best I could I tried to help Rachel. She is quite the romantic and can easily fall in love. Sometime too easily and I don’t want to see her get hurt by Mr Freeze.
It was clear that Rachel really likes this guy, but she was having serious doubts. She didn’t know if she should let him know how much she cared, when he showed so little indication of wanting to hear it.
His scent was all over, so it wasn’t hard for me to track him down. When I found him I entered his mind and was overwhelmed with surprise with his thoughts. His mind was literally flooded with thoughts or Rachel. He was remembering again and again the time they spent together, how much he liked her smile, the way her hair moved when she laughed. I was taken aback. Before finding him I had been ready to scare the fear of God into him, but now I didn’t know what to do.
The solution to Rachel’s problem is a story for another day. But this got me to thinking; why do so many humans struggle with being human?
Emotions are a perfectly natural thing. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re sad, angry, frustrated etc. But if you are happy and it is someone that makes you happy, why can’t you tell them?
Okay so you are insecure and worried they don’t feel the same way. Have you ever stopped to think that may be exactly what they are thinking.
Now listen up humans, because what I’m about to tell you is critical. Emotions are raw, naked honesty. Emotions cannot lie. Sharing your emotions is the most important method you have available to connect with other humans. Regardless of whether the emotion is good, bad or otherwise, you must share. And you, on the receiving end; you listen up too! When someone opens themselves up, bares their soul to you allowing you a glimpse of that raw emotion; there is nothing in the world more important than giving them your full attention.
What you need to remember my dear human friends, is that everyone around is just as scared and insecure as you are. And like you, they want to love and be loved.
Try being honest with yourself and those around you. It will do you a world of good. And if it doesn’t and you want to end it all, I could always use more snacks.
Being Human – An Affront to Vampires
Being Human (UK) airing on BBC3
L-R: George, Mitchell, Annie
Hello my friends, for those of you who are fans of the TV show Being Human, read no further, because I am going to bag the shit out of it. And just to be clear, I’m referring to the original UK version.
And yes there will be spoilers.
For those of you who know nothing about the show, according to BBC3 (the show producers):
This show was brought to my attention by my lovely assistant Rachel. Nicole and I thought it might be good for a giggle watching a werewolf, vampire and ghost try to live together. So let’s meet the three main characters:
Annie – The Ghost
Being Human (UK)
Annie – The Ghost
Annie was murdered by her fiance and is doomed to haunt the house they bought together. She is vapid, pointless and simply plain annoying.
A ghost could cause all kinds of mischief and mayhem, but not this girl. She seems to be a strange combination of Casper and Miss Daisy.
This ghost spends her day making cups of tea, littering the house from one end to the other with teacups.
It wasn’t until the final episode of Season 2 that she actually did something useful. If she wasn’t already dead I’d love to kill her.
Mitchell – The Vampire
Being Human (UK)
Mitchell – The Vampire
Supposedly suave and supremely attractive. Why cast a guy who looks like he spent six months playing Robinson Crusoe. He desperately needs a haircut, a shave and overall improvement in the personal grooming department.
Mitchell’s attempt at “Being Human” involves getting on the “wagon”. For those unfamiliar with the term, he is a vampire who chooses not to drink blood! I will rant more about this later.
Personally I think he must have a personalty disorder. There is no stability in his character’s behaviour at all. If you are a selfish bastard, then be a selfish bastard. If you a are a loyal friend, be a loyal friend. Get rid of the vampiric chameleon and he might be barely tolerable.
George – The Werewolf
Being Human (UK)
George – The Werewolf
Last but not least we come to George. Who, incidentally, was one of the few actors not to be recast after the pilot.
Despite being a werewolf, which I am going to overlook for the moment, George is the one redeeming feature of this otherwise travesty of a show.
George is a little strange, weird, romantic, excitable and even a bit womanish at times, but; he has a heart of gold. If you only had one friend in the world and it was George, you would be a very lucky person.
The character of George is the glue which holds this ramshackle trainwreck together. It is sad to see such a great character wallowing in the misery of crappy company.
Vampires Drink Blood
I have so many complaints about the portrayal of vampires in this show I barely know where to start. Okay, first up, vampires parade around during the day and sleep at night. WTF?! Vampires are creatures of the night and always have been. It’s not impossible for us to move around during the day, but certainly not to the extent this show would have you believe.
Vampires eating and drinking human food: You can’t be serious. How many sets of organs do you think can fit in a body? One set to handle the digestion of human food and another separate set for blood? Vampires drink blood! They don’t sit down for a roast meal and then sip a glass of extra thick red later. They drink blood, nothing else.
Vampires on the wagon: No vampire would ever choose to stop drinking blood. It is the equivalent of a human being deciding to stop breathing. But according to the makers of Being Human it is perfectly reasonable for a vampire to quit drinking blood and settle for plain ordinary human food. Nonsense, utterly ridiculous. Maybe I missed the memo announcing that drinking blood was optional for vampires.
Vampire resurrection: There’s a rather smarmy vampire leader called Herrick, who I was ever so grateful to see killed. Oh but wait, he’s not really dead because with enough vampire blood he can be resurrected. Firstly I’d like to point out the lack of continuity in logic.
In Season One you witness a vampire being staked and she turns to dust. Meanwhile at the end of Season Two, Herrick can be resurrected by pouring vampire blood on his bones. So what happens when a vampire dies? Do they turn to dust or not? Make up your mind.
Anyway, I’m not saying vampire blood isn’t powerful, I’ve seen it work miracles – on living tissue. There is no amount of vampire blood that can reanimate dead tissue. And even if it could, wouldn’t that make a zombie?
Isis only knows what makes this show popular. I’ve endured two seasons and I will endure no more. Hopefully the folks in Canada can pump out enough episodes of Lost Girl to keep me happy.
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Posted by Bek Harrington on May 7, 2012 in Commentary
Tags: bbc, being human, blood, comedy, drama, ghosts, supernatural, television, vampires, werewolves